We certainly do want to acknowledge our communication maturity and successes. And if we find that we have become effective communicators we may decide we've arrived. The SpeakSTRONG Method encourages you to continue to develop. New levels of synergy, dynamism and relating await you. This article tells you more.
“How is your life different now that you’ve mastered the art of Speaking STRONG?” the interviewer asked me. I chuckled a little at the idea that I or anyone has arrived at the goal of perfect communication. As soon as I delight in the brilliant new way I handle a communication challenge, another new challenge will test my abilities in a dramatic new way. As soon as I pat myself on the back for not taking a cheap shot or speaking manipulatively, I uncover some hidden agenda or unfair advantage I took. As soon as I think I have mastered my ego instead of it having mastered me, I find a new way my ego tricked me to do its bidding at the expense of HEART.
The upside of Speaking STRONG being an unmastered art is the unending discovery process. There are always delightful new nuances of communication that expand creativity, sweetness and effectiveness of all relationships. Every newly discovered flaw and limit opens a door to newly discovered levels of relating. When you ride the waves of dynamic communication, you find yourself in places you never imagined you’d end up.
Instead of looking for flaws in how you speak or blocks in your communication, at this level you can look for possibilities and opportunities. You can let the flaws and the blocks take care of themselves. When you keep your eye on the (ever unfolding) goal, the obstacles don’t carry the weight they once did.
At the end of each day, review interactions for ways you can deepen connections and create greater synergy in future conversations. Exploring possibilities sure beats beating yourself up for not getting it quite as perfect as you might have liked.
Every experience causes us to contract or expand, defend or open, regress or move forward. It’s not what happens to us – it’s what we do with what happens to us.
If you read my article called Some Boats Need to be Rocked, you know that I paid an enormous price for not being able to communicate 25 years ago. You read about the devastation I experienced as I picked up the pieces of my life and began my quest to find my voice. People who knew me then and know me now can’t believe the difference. Transformation is not just about some quick tips and tricks. It takes time, energy and commitment. It is worth every bit of effort and the weathering of every setback that comes with the territory.
In response to my interviewer or anyone who asks me how my life is different now, the answer is there is no comparison. It’s the difference between abhorring life and enjoying life. It’s the difference between failure and success. It’s the difference between hating people and loving them. It’s the difference between hating myself and loving myself. I took the better path, not the easier one. That has made all the difference.
So keep on Speaking STRONG and Grow with the Flow. It’s a great ride.