Once you discover what has significance, take what seems trite and find what it points to that is significant. This article helps you find the gold in what might seem useless at first.
SpeakSTRONG Step #2: Transform the Trite: From victim or tyrant to leader
Letting it all hang out
I discovered emotional processing about twenty years ago. I took a wild ride as I let my reptilian brain (my Izzie) cut lose without any interference from my intellectual, neo-cortical mind (my Webby.) Under the guidance of a facilitator, I vocalized (often loudly) a myriad of thoughts, feelings, resentments, judgments, complaints, heartaches, and yes, expressions of love, that I didn’t know were there. Some of what I discovered was pretty ugly. Some of what I uncovered was incredibly beautiful. A value in emotional processing is incredible self-knowledge. A danger in emotional processing comes when people consider the raw material that emerges absolute truth, and express it in its unfiltered form. There is great value in letting it all hang out – in the proper context.
Don’t mistake the process for the goal
The Seek Significance step of the SpeakSTRONG Method is a kind of emotional and intellectual processing. It brings up a lot of raw data. It’s a brainstorming and heartstorming free-for-all that leaves you with ideas, insights and impressions that help you get to the HEART of your message. Just don’t think you’re there yet. You’ve taken one step of six.
Like any good brainstorming session, the Seek Significance stage of the SpeakStrong Method leaves you with raw ideas to work with. It provides an array of thoughts, feelings, impressions and relevant facts that need processing before you SpeakSTRONG. It’s kind of a significance soup.
Turn lead into gold
After you’ve completed step one, the Transform the Trite step reviews what you uncovered and finds the dynamic leadership value of each point. It finds the gold in the lead. Some ideas will have the ring of leadership already. Others will have the ring of wounds, fears and limits. This step of The SpeakSTRONG Method transforms any concept or idea that comes from victim or coercive thinking (lead) into opportunities, requests and possibilities (gold.)
If taking the first SpeakSTRONG step told you what you don’t want, now discover what you DO want. If your first SpeakSTRONG step helped you identify someone’s weakness, now take that discovery to the next level and discover strengths you can build on. If your first SpeakSTRONG step brought up problems, take another step to uncover opportunities inside those problems.
If taking the first SpeakSTRONG step leaves you thinking, “I can’t say THAT, can I?” take the second step to uncover things you can say – things that not only honor your truth, but are likely to get you a result you want.
From victim or tyrant to leader
If taking the first SpeakSTRONG step left you sounding like a victim or a tyrant, the Transform the Trite step will find the dynamic, transformational leadership quality in each thought, feeling and desire. Whether leader is in your title or not, this step is an essential one to take to get to the HEART of your message. Victims and tyrants are not character-based communicators. Leaders are. Victims and tyrants get limited results through manipulation and pressure. Leaders get expansive results through creative influence.
Once you’ve uncovered what your inner leader has to say, you’re ready for the next step of the SpeakSTRONG Method – Refine your Phrases.