December 2010

Changing habits can be challenging, but here are three keys that will help.

1. Pick a moniker for yourself. Pick something that sums up who you are and who you are becoming. A dear friend sometimes calls himself Dr. Sunshine. It’s a fitting moniker for him. He brings sunshine into every consideration.

What is a fitting moniker for you? And how about a moniker for you as a communicator? I’m The Message Maven, The Perspicacious Phraseologist and The Communication Alchemist.

2. Get a motto. Three phrase mottos work well. My SpeakSTRONG motto is to be clear, sincere and effective. It was clear, kind and direct, but it has evolved.

On the other hand, I have another motto that is lighthearted. It’s Collabracabra. What’s yours?

3. Get a motivating image. My motivating image has been a picture of me putting one foot in front of the other. When I get overwhelmed or fall into an old habit of thinking and speaking, that visual brings me back to my next step. It’s like the twelve step one-day-at-a-time image applied to each moment. It brings me back on track every time.

On the other hand, now that I’m past the roughest terrain since my paved road crumbled, I’m finding a more lighthearted image that is connected to Collabradabra. It’s more magical – yes, I have a wand – but I’m not performing magic on others. I’m inspiring the magic IN others. OMG – it gives me shivers!

Don’t stress yourself about getting the perfect moniker, motto and motivating image right away. Once you apply a less-than-perfect one, you’ll naturally develop refinements. You’ll go deeper into what your choices represent for you. And even if you’re completely at home with your choice, one day you’ll wake up and discover you’re ready to shift them – either because your circumstances and aspirations change, or because…oh my gosh… you’ve grown into and beyond the vision you set for yourself.  

Beliefnet.com published an article I wrote last week about how to get more respect for your personal development plans. You do get an ad when you click the link – which you can click skip for.

I’ve summarized the points for you below. We’ll go into much greater depth about it at my New Year New You part 2 Webinar. 

1. Create a clear vision. Picture what you and your life will be like once you’ve implemented your resolution. Make your vision detailed and concrete.

2. Commit to action. Before you tell anyone what you intend to do, decide what steps you will take to achieve it.

3. Identify your reasons. Make a list of benefits that motivate you to change.

4. Anticipate objections. Anticipate the protests, belly-aching and doubts that are likely to come your way.

5. Share your plans with prepared phrases. Have the phrases ready to use, and adapt as needed.

6. Ask for support outright. Say something like, “I’d really like you to help me succeed here. Can I count on you for support?

Read the whole article here.

Is your communication on steroids? Much of our communication is these days. Our language is inflated, hyped and accelerated.

We have lofty titles, embellished bios and evaluation systems that are so aggrandized that to give someone four out of five points is considered being critical.

My friend Wanda faced this issue when someone asked her to give his book a five-star review on Amazon.. She liked the premise, but found it a bit difficult to read. She would gladly give it a four star review. And to put that into context, she told me she would only give her own book three stars if she were to review it. But no – only five stars would do. 

Then there’s the frenetic, give it to me yesterday aspect of our language. We have an artificial urgency that keeps us racing around at “breakneck speed” until – guess what – we break.

Let’s pull the plug. Let 2011 be the year we take our communication off steroids. Let’s find our true voices behind the noise. It’s a communication makeover that is really about uncovering the natural empowerment that comes from sincere communication.