Month: December 2010

Communication transformation keys: a moniker, motto and motivating image

antique keyChanging habits can be challenging, but here are three keys that will help.

1. Pick a moniker for yourself. Pick something that sums up who you are and who you are becoming. A dear friend sometimes calls himself Dr. Sunshine. It’s a fitting moniker for him. He brings sunshine into every consideration.

What is a fitting moniker for you? And how about a moniker for you as a communicator? I’m The Message Maven, The Perspicacious Phraseologist and The Communication Alchemist.

2. Get a motto. Three phrase mottos work well. My SpeakSTRONG motto is to be clear, sincere and effective. It was clear, kind and direct, but it has evolved.

On the other hand, I have another motto that is lighthearted. It’s Collabracabra. What’s yours?

3. Get a motivating image. My motivating image has been a picture of me putting one foot in front of the other. When I get overwhelmed or fall into an old habit of thinking and speaking, that visual brings me back to my next step. It’s like the twelve step one-day-at-a-time image applied to each moment. It brings me back on track every time.

On the other hand, now that I’m past the roughest terrain since my paved road crumbled, I’m finding a more lighthearted image that is connected to Collabradabra. It’s more magical – yes, I have a wand – but I’m not performing magic on others. I’m inspiring the magic IN others. OMG – it gives me shivers!

Don’t stress yourself about getting the perfect moniker, motto and motivating image right away. Once you apply a less-than-perfect one, you’ll naturally develop refinements. You’ll go deeper into what your choices represent for you. And even if you’re completely at home with your choice, one day you’ll wake up and discover you’re ready to shift them – either because your circumstances and aspirations change, or because…oh my gosh… you’ve grown into and beyond the vision you set for yourself.  

New Year, New You Update

Welcome! The New You New Year Webinar is good to go, and the info is the same as your last email. It’s posted below.

Should you have any trouble opening the webpage, you can follow along with this PDF.

 

 

The webinar is scheduled for 11 AM Mountain time, which is 1 PM Eastern time on January 6 th.

Check your email and this page for updates on login details. The webinar is currently scheduled for this url: 

https://join.me/267-433-875

and this call-in number. 

1-619-350-2219

Code: 22183 #

 

The number has changed from what I originally posted. 

Here’s what I’d like for you to do to prepare.

1. Review my Some Boats Need to be Rocked article. 

2. Check out my Facebook pledge and decide whether it’s right for you to take the pledge. 

3. Watch my video called The Unpaved Path to Opportunity. I will be discussing points from it in the webinar.

4. Read my post about the three keys to transformation a moniker, motto and motivating image.

5. Think of what your moniker, motto and motivating image for your communication makeover would be.


I will post the PowerPoint the morning of the webinar for a back up, and the link will be on this page. 

New Year, New You Update

Welcome! The New You New Year Webinar is good to go, and the info is the same as your last email. It’s posted below.

Should you have any trouble opening the webpage, you can follow along with this PDF.

 

 

The webinar is scheduled for 11 AM Mountain time, which is 1 PM Eastern time on January 6 th.

Check your email and this page for updates on login details. The webinar is currently scheduled for this url: 

https://join.me/267-433-875

and this call-in number. 

1-619-350-2219

Code: 22183 #

 

The number has changed from what I originally posted. 

Here’s what I’d like for you to do to prepare.

1. Review my Some Boats Need to be Rocked article. 

2. Check out my Facebook pledge and decide whether it’s right for you to take the pledge. 

3. Watch my video called The Unpaved Path to Opportunity. I will be discussing points from it in the webinar.

4. Read my post about the three keys to transformation a moniker, motto and motivating image.

5. Think of what your moniker, motto and motivating image for your communication makeover would be.


I will post the PowerPoint the morning of the webinar for a back up, and the link will be on this page. 

Listening to understand – a hubby gets a do-over

success story iconA reader wrote:

We had a win this morning. My wife was trying to understand how to buy a gift certificate and pay using a credit card, but debiting our checking account. I thought it was easy and kept trying to tell her the solution. Eventually she said “Don’t worry about it, you’re not understanding what I’m saying,” and the conversation ended.

This left her agitated and frustrated and me feeling bad and confused.

After a few minutes I went back and said “Could we try that again? This time I’ll try to listen and understand what you are saying.” We went through it again but this time I focused on making sure that she knew that I understood what she was describing and asking. At the end she said, “Is that right?” and I said, “That’s right”. Problem solved and we were both happy.

This is a pattern; my wife trying to ask something and me jumping in with the solution. This time I successfully listened and she felt understood.

Reader seeks PowerPhrases for Teachers

Question iconA reader wrote: 

Hi, I would like to encourage you to have some articles specifically for teachers.  I think that there is a market for it.  Often there are power struggles with students that make everything more difficult and could have been avoided with better communication tools by the teachers.

Response:

I had spoken to someone about writing a book like that, but there is a phrase book for teachers. You’ll find it here.

I’m in the process of writing a phrase book for office professionals and when I finish that, I think I’m done!

 

More Jokes, no digs

success_storiesFrom a reader:

All the very best to you for this festive season.

It is a few years back that I came across your “Power Phrases”. With that in hand I started a journey which, so far, has included more books and courses, etc. Self-confidence, skills at handling situations, happiness, contentment, better relationships and a level of control of my life that I have not experienced previously, are the byproducts of this journey.

A daughter and her family are visiting. She was making a few digs and negative comments which I noticed. I had done something and she said, “Don’t worry family, that’s a Dad thing”. So I considered if I would handle it, decided to do so and said, “Help me understand what just happened, were you cracking a joke or having a dig at me?” She said, “A bit of both”. I replied OK, thanks I thought it was a dig and a joke. Since then there are more jokes and no digs.

I appreciate your decision to share your skills and knowledge. You have made a wonderful difference in the lives of thousands of people and made, in that way, the world a better place.

SPEAKSTRONG GOES INDIRECT – and SHIFTS ITS MOTTO IN 2011

Speak_Strong _news _Icon

It’s time to make the change official. For years, the SpeakSTRONG Method has been guided by the principles of communicating clearly, kindly and directly. That has felt a bit restrictive for some time now. That’s why, in  2011, the guiding principles are changing to speak: clearly, sincerely and effectively.

Clarity communicates discernment –  thoughts, facts and opinion. It gives voice to the mind. Clarity stays.

Kindness and sincerity are both communications of the heart. However, you can be kind without having your heart really in it. You can’t be sincere without having your heart really in it. “Kind” is transforming into “sincere” in the SpeakSTRONG motto.

Direct and effective communication both are communications of will. Directness is a quality I and many of my readers have needed to develop.  However, sometimes a less direct approach is more effective than direct one. We need to know how and when to be direct, and how and when to be indirect. We balance both approaches to be effective – and even transformative.

Would you like to develop the ability to speak clearly, sincerely and effectively in 2011? Join us for my New Year New You webinars. They’re free! How cool is that?

Six Ways to Get More Respect on Beliefnet

Beliefnet.com published an article I wrote last week about how to get more respect for your personal development plans. You do get an ad when you click the link – which you can click skip for.

I’ve summarized the points for you below. We’ll go into much greater depth about it at my New Year New You part 2 Webinar. 

  1. Create a clear vision. Picture what you and your life will be like once you’ve implemented your resolution. Make your vision detailed and concrete.

  2. Commit to action. Before you tell anyone what you intend to do, decide what steps you will take to achieve it.

  3. Identify your reasons. Make a list of benefits that motivate you to change.

  4. Anticipate objections. Anticipate the protests, belly-aching and doubts that are likely to come your way.

  5. Share your plans with prepared phrases. Have the phrases ready to use, and adapt as needed.

  6. Ask for support outright. Say something like, “I’d really like you to help me succeed here. Can I count on you for support?

Read the whole article here.

Take your communication off steroids and empower your voice in 2011

exclamation_point_iconIs your communication on steroids? Much of our communication is these days. Our language is inflated, hyped and accelerated.

We have lofty titles, embellished bios and evaluation systems that are so aggrandized that to give someone four out of five points is considered being critical.

My friend Wanda faced this issue when someone asked her to give his book a five-star review on Amazon.. She liked the premise, but found it a bit difficult to read. She would gladly give it a four star review. And to put that into context, she told me she would only give her own book three stars if she were to review it. But no – only five stars would do. 

Then there’s the frenetic, give it to me yesterday aspect of our language. We have an artificial urgency that keeps us racing around at “breakneck speed” until – guess what – we break.

Let’s pull the plug. Let 2011 be the year we take our communication off steroids. Let’s find our true voices behind the noise. It’s a communication makeover that is really about uncovering the natural empowerment that comes from sincere communication. 

Barrier #3: Communication cultural diversity blinders. (And how mine were showing)

check markExcuse me – my cultural diversity blinders were showing. 

When I wrote my holiday message, I referred to what I thought was a universal experience of this season. The days are getting longer again.

I’m surprised none of my readers from down-under caught my omission. No one noted that their days are getting longer now. Malcolm?

Cultural diversity in global business can be tricky. I had thought I was being inclusive. I later realized that there was yet another step back for me to take. Fortunately, my readers are very gracious when it comes to pointing out the limits of my thinking, speaking and writing.That’s the way we all need to be when diversity blinders show. That way our over-sights can be openings in understanding cultural differences. Read about that in my article Educate. Don’t Excoriate.