May 2011

From Seth Godin: “When your organization punishes people for caring, don’t be surprised when people stop caring”.

I can recount many times where I felt actually ridiculed for caring. Can you? In a profit-driven world, it can take a lot of courage to care. It’s worth it. And if you don’t dare to care where you are, it may well be time for a change. 

Corporations don’t care. People do. Or some people do. I’ve been shocked at times about how uncaring some people have been. I’ve ended mutually beneficial business relationships with companies that have rewarded non-caring and punished caring. Tough choice – but I don’t do business that way. There are too many people in the world who do care – and enough organizations that allow their people to care that we don’t need to waste much time with those who don’t. 

Henry Ford is quoted as saying, “It’s not what you say or how you say it, it’s how often you say it”. While Ford referred to advertising, his point applies to all kinds of communication. Consistency reinforces your message. 

Especially in our crazy-busy world – don’t assume that because you told someone something once, they got it. That’s why as a speaker, I make the same point in many different ways – and as a professional, a wife, a mother, a friend – I strive to cut people slack. People are busy and we all need to reinforce our points with repetition. 

What we DON’T want to do is tell them once and build our case against them because they didn’t get it. 

I listened to two business radio interviews yesterday. Both were excellent. And in both cases, I consitently wanted to ask the guests to please:

• Give me an example.

It all sounds good, but I don’t really get it until I hear it described in action/application.

There’s a trend in business books toward fables and story-telling. But you don’t need to write a whole book to give an example. It can be as simple as what I did here – I gave an example of how I wanted an example to understand a principle. 

Make a point, elaborate on the point and illustrate the point with an action or an example. It’s a simple formula for communication success. 

Immediacy is the name of the game these days. So what do you say when someone wants immediate attention and you can’t give it? The knee jerk response is to say “I can’t do that.” But instead of negating and declining, talk about what you CAN do. Say,

• I can get you on the calendar right now. 

I got this one from an admin who would tell people who wanted to talk with their execs right away. 

Jarla joked about how we make money the old-fashioned way – by working our tails off. Judith replied,

• I’m challenging that belief system these days.

I like the way Judith’s words gracefully shined a light on the assumptions in Jarla’s remarks. Her words inspired a discussion of how the assumption that we need to work that hard might limit us. Not that any of us don’t want to work or value work. It’s more that… well… I’ll let you reflect on it for a bit. How might that belief system limit our options for success? How might it limit yours?

This post isn’t really about that particular belief system. It’s about ALL the beliefs that are true because we assume they are. For example, one belief I run into is people who believe they can’t say what they mean and mean what they say without being mean when they say it. Sure – there may be reasons why you don’t and consequences if you do, and preparations you would want to make before you live your life communicating that way. But is it possible that you hold yourself back from rich expression because of a belief that deserves challenging?

What belief systems are you ready to challenge? The path of continuous communication improvement is a path of continuously challenging beliefs that limit you – often unnecessarily.