It wasn’t just what he did and it wasn’t just what he said. It was how he did it and what he didn’t say. Would he have preferred to have gone to bed instead of change my flat? Of course. But he said nothing at all to indicate that he felt imposed on. No queries about how my driving might have contributed to bursting the tire. I appreciate what he did, and I appreciate what he didn’t do.
I’ve been on the other side of this. A few months back he had made an error in judgment. I was surprised by his decision, but as I explained to my mentor,
- He didn’t need to hear that.
He already knew it was a mistake. He didn’t need to hear it from me. My mentor reflected on how refreshing he found it as a man to hear a woman say that. I don’t always manage to restrain myself, but in this case my heart got the best of me which was as it should have been.
Sometimes we cultivate relationship by what we don’t say. I feel more bonded to him than ever today. I admire what he did. And what he didn’t do. There’s only one thing to say, and I said it. Thank you.