Death: the ultimate crap detector and truth catalyst

FuneralToday is Mother’s Day, my friend Barbara’s birthday, and the 26th anniversary of my first husband’s passing. If you know my history, you know that Mike’s death was a catalyst for my finding my voice and for my SpeakStrong message.  Death will do that. It’s the ultimate crap detector. It became glaringly obvious how much of that I had. 

So you’ll understand why, this week, when my dear friend’s father was killed instantly when hit by a car, my prayer for my friend was for the freedom and support to go through her loss as it unfolds for her.

It will make sense to you that when, two days later, I learned our family friend Carl lost his 20 year battle with cancer, I was grateful that I had gone out of my way to let him know how much I respected his courage and grace in his struggle.

And you’ll appreciate why, when I learned at my dance group yesterday that one of the organizers had taken his own life, I was so glad to be somewhere where there was freedom to respond honestly. There was no need to pretend. There was room for anger, sorrow, gratitude and indifference… everything. There was room for authentic communication.

We danced our shock, or sorrow, our anger, our gratitude, our pain and our awe. We came together as a community as we each were. Death will do that, too. 

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *