I love the phrase “ït’s a process.” It acknowledges the fact that things don’t all happen linearly, in nice, neat straight lines.
Or at least not always.
My hubby bought a new car yesterday. We could have spent several more days checking out options, but it seemed right to go ahead and decide. Today he’s second-guessing himself.
Does that mean he made a mistake? Not at all. I told him,
- It’s a good thing buyer’s remorse is normal, or we might be thinking your doubts mean we goofed.
I meant it. It’s a big decision and a new reality, and it takes time to get used to it. It takes time to put the shouda woulda coulda’s to rest. He’s glad to be able to express those doubts instead of pretending he feels something he doesn’t. It IS a process.
Can you imagine what I might have been tempted to say if I didn’t have an awareness of process? Things like – you’re just wondering this now? Why didn’t you wait if you weren’t sure? You should have waited until you were sure.
True from one perspective, but not helpful with the process. When you have a clue of what the process can look like, it keeps you from reacting to it.
He’s out driving his new car around the neighborhood just to get to know it. He’s going through his process. I’m writing this blog post. I’m going through mine.