Is the holiday spirit calling you? Are you doing things to enliven it? 

My friend “Brenda” used to feel family-less and sad in this season. This year she feels joyful and blessed. She is creating a “secret ritual” to celebrate. And today she shared some of what she has planned with me. I won’t share any of her details, but I will say that she is pulling from her traditions and doing the things that hold deep meaning for her. By sharing her plan with me, she enlivened some of my own memories, joy and gratitude.

I love talking about what delights others. And it helps me connect with what delights me. That’s why I’d like to ask you, too. 

• What do you do in the holidays that makes it special to you?

I’d love to know. 

Bob and I are reading and enjoying “Proof of Heaven, A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife.” We’re not through it yet, but I got a gem from last night’s reading. Author Eban Alexander III told his son that he wanted to share what he had learned during his many comatose days, and planned to read up on near death experiences, and what others have experienced.

His son advised him to capture his own memories and experiences first. “Observation first, then interpretation. Record it as purely and accurately as you can before you start making comparisons.”

The SpeakStrong Method follows the same sequence. Find your original voice first. Then consider outside input. If you fill your mind with other’s ideas before you clarify your own, it’s harder to hear your own voice. That’s why I wait until I have established my own approach in my writing before I review the work of others. Outside input is valuable, but it serves us best once we’ve centered ourselves in our own message. 

That’s the sequence that I have found works best. Having grounded that idea, it’s nice to hear a scientist recommend it, too.