Giving Grace Her Due

This is my homeplay from the first Empowerment. I named my inner voice Grace and this is my letter to her.

My travelng companions note that it’s an excellent example of how different our approaches are. This is me – this is how I apply the first Empowerment. Their applications are perfect and different. And yours will be too.

Grace, I believe all you ever wanted was to talk soul to soul. To share yourself and embrace others’ truths. How did it all get so twisted? Why would anyone ignore you, doubt you, displace you or disclaim your? When you shine through – when I see you in your radiance, hear you in your clarity, you are all that matters.

So I invite you. It’s an invitation – not a demand. You won’t come out if you feel commanded. Who would blame you. You know better than to let yourself be judged by a standard that has no true meaning for you.

 

I won’t always recognize you. You’re so much bigger than I can see – so much bigger than I can hear. And yet you can be so much smaller than I can see – so much softer than I can hear. I know I may judge you , condemn you. Please keep knocking, and remind me my dismissal is a clue that I haven’t fully heard you. I pledge to listen more deeply.

Sometimes I think I’m not hearing you because I assume you are oh, so serious. Then realize I AM hearing you – you’re being playful today. Or sassy voice, or directive or linear voice. These voices belong to you too.

I thought you spoke to guide me, but now I know you sometimes speak to caress me. To delight me. To amuse me. Sometimes, to chastise me, warn me, dance with me.

At times I listen for your whispers and miss your voice loud and clear like the lyrics to an early Beatles song. Other times I wait for an earth-shattering message and don’t realize you’re suggesting I put lotion on my back.

When I wonder, “who the hell does he think he is, is that you talking to me to?” I think it is. But that doesn’t mean that’s what you want me to say. If I listen, I hear another voice that says “it’s a really good question to ask yourself – not necessarily him” That’s you talking too, isn’t it?

Sometimes I think you speak only in words until I realize you speak in symbols, desires, impulses, pictures images, carings, even that sinking in my stomach that I don’t like feeling. That is you talking with me also.

Sometimes I think you’re giving me the whole when you’re simply giving me a piece. Sometimes I think you’re giving me an answer, when you’re really giving me a question. Sometimes I feel you and don’t follow you. Sometimes I follow you and I don’t even know that I am until I look back later.

At times I hear you best by being still. Other times I hear you best by kicking up my heels. Sometimes I hear you best when I teach. Other times I hear you best when I stop teaching. Sometimes I hear you best in a crowd. Other times I hear you best at the top of a mountain alone. Sometimes I hear you best when I write. Other times I hear you best when I stop writing.

There are times I hear what you want me to know, and I wonder what you want me to do. Sometimes I think all you want me to do is anything at all, because that stirs things up so I can hear you.

Sometimes I listen with too complicated of an ear to what is a simple message once I am simple enough to hear it.

Sometimes I listen with a linear ear and find your message makes no sense at all, because you are speaking the language of the heart.

Sometimes I try to say what you mean, but I know that’s not it at all. Then, when I keep talking anyway, I reach a point where I know, I know, I have done you proud.

Sometimes I understand you immediately. Sometimes it takes years. Sometimes I feel you with so much clarity I ache, and yet I cannot convey your meaning to another soul. Sometimes other souls understand you before I do.

Since those days I betrayed you so completely, I have been in the school of grace and the school of hard knocks and you keep calling me and I keep affirming how dear you are to me.

In the weeks and the months ahead I will seek to bring you out to the world where appropriate, but my deepest pledge, commitment, promise to you is to listen – to hear you myself.

I will work with the structures and techniques to coax you – but I will not let them deform you, oppress you, misshape you. I will use them to serve you. I will not ask you to serve them. I will build you a foundation and sanctuary where you can unfold and frolic in the way we came here for.

Dear beloved Grace, kindness of the heart, gentle spirit. Breath of life. I am excited to move into this next year deepening relationship to you and with you.

Let’s have a rollicking good time of it, shall we?

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