A good friend told me she and her hubby have a policy to never go to bed angry. It has worked well for them, so I have no argument with it. But that doesn’t mean I need to do what works for them. In fact, I lean more toward a policy of not expressing an anger I haven’t slept on. Hiking on an anger works well, too. That gives time for some alchemy.
In the middle of the night (or hike) I often get intensely clear about what’s not working for me. My anger burns hot. And then it softens, and transforms into an understanding of what I want instead. Next, a path or approach that is likely to help me achieve my goals becomes clear.
In the meantime, there’s room for others to experience some alchemy as well.
The other morning, Bob greeted me by apologizing for being too aggressive with me the day before. He had been. I was quite prepared to discuss a gentler way he could have approached me. Only a few words were called for in the new dawn. We came to a deeper understanding, helped by the fact that we both went to bed angry.