I had invited “Elle” to dance with me several times. Normally, when I invite her to something, she gives me a clear yes or no. Dance was different. She would give vague and indefinite answers. Or she would just go silent.
I noticed a similar thing when she invited me to classes she likes. I would go silent rather than give a clear yes or no. So I told her that I would love to go to be with her, but the event itself wasn’t top priority to me, and I wanted to focus on things that were. What I didn’t say (but will) is to keep inviting me, because sometime I might decide I want to join her.
Elle’s response to my dance invitations felt odd enough that I was about to address them. But I didn’t have to. Elle initiated the conversation herself. She said,
- I asked myself what my resistance to dance is, and I realized that I feel nervous about going.
I appreciate her directness and clarity.
I’ve done much the same thing around calling my parents. I asked myself, what is my resistance? I discovered that it seems to me they want news, and my life is simple and routine – on the outside at least. So I started looking for things to tell them. I’m not traveling the world these days – I don’t have glamorous tales of outer adventures, but the crab apples getting ripe will have to do.
I picked up the phone and called. They were happy to learn about the crab apples.