Barriers to effective communication skill

Communication Barrier #4: Assuming others see what you see

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I see connections other people miss.

For example, I see the individual and organizational communication as following the same principles, patterns and dynamics. For me, it doesn’t matter much if an example comes from work or from home. I automatically see how the principle applies in other arenas.

Here’s what I miss. I miss the fact that what is so clear to me is not as clear to others. I’ve learned to state the connection clearly. If I give a PowerPhrase to win trust in communicating with a spouse, I now clarify how to use it at work. I developed the habit of writing about the connections that I used to think were implicit but aren’t. That’s how I overcome Effective Communication Barrier #4: Assuming others see what you do.

What connections are obvious to you and not to others? There are plenty of things that I miss that are obvious to others. How can you help me – and others – see those things?

Communication Barrier #5: Negating others’ interpretations

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I found this dialog on Facebook amusing. 

Nikos asks if there is an easy way to embed video on the Facebook server. James replies, yes, there is. Karma asks, well, then what is it? Nikos responded that he didn’t know. He had asked and gotten a rude reply. James said,

“Sorry for the misunderstanding, you didn’t ask how…you just asked if there was an easy way. I wasn’t being rude.”  http://cit.ucsf.edu/embedmedia/step1.php 

That is about as easy as it gets, folks.

Well, James is right. Nikos didn’t ask how. He thought how was implied in the question. And many would assume that, too. Plus there are plenty of people who passive-aggressively answer literally when they know full well what someone is asking. James was appropriately gracious to apologize, but would have done better not to shift blame or insist he wasn’t being rude. A better response might have been,

  • Sorry for the misunderstanding. I didn’t intend to be rude. Here’s the answer.