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Meryl and I have been going through the eLearning and practicing what we preach, so to speak. Week One of the eLearning asks you to reflect on you communication past and I wanted to share some of the things I have learned in my communication journey.
When I first came to work for Meryl three months ago, I felt fairly confident in my abilities as a communicator. I had pride in my ability to resolve confrontations and felt my communication with those around me was clear and kind.
It wasn’t until I spent some time helping Meryl refine her descriptions of the four communication styles, that I began to reflect on my own style and voice. It was like wiping the mirror clean of all of that debris that had blurred my image before; like lifting a veil; like walking into a brick wall. I realized how I would change my style with different individuals but mainly identified with the Achiever style.
Melissa sent out an association newsletter that got rave reviews from everyone but Jade. Jade emailed back a series of criticisms and corrections. Melissa replied,
Thanks, Jade. We need people like you to help with the newsletter. Would you like to join the team?
Jade did, and her input was both helpful, and more balanced now that she was a part of the project. Melissa was tempted to resist the input, and was glad she embraced it instead.
I’d been trying to find a time to meet with “Darla,” and emailed a possible time. My email said,
How about Friday at 12:30?
Darla replied, “Friday would be great. What time?”
It didn’t surprise me a bit to note that her reply came from a mobile device. They’re harder to read, and people are often on the go when they use them. And that is what happens when we rush. We miss things that are right in front of us.
I learned a lot about Darla in that quick response. If I didn’t understand the dynamics, I might think she’s not so bright. But she holds down a very responsible job. I can’t conclude she lacks intelligence, but I can conclude that I need to be aware of the fact that she can reply without understanding. I will communicate with her differently than someone who considers every word. I’ll check her facts and reconfirm our agreements and take more responsibility for the effectiveness of our communication.
It’s amazing how much we can learn about someone from a six-word email. Or a short blog post – which is why I’ll run spell-check on this before I hit save.
I just received an email requesting auction items for a fundraiser for a couple to adopt an 11-year-old boy.
The tale they tell is that the couple was in the Philippine orphanage to adopt their daughter when the boy came up to them and said,
Please, will you take me home with you, too? I love America.
He was the oldest child at the orphanage and had watched numerous friends be adopted, leaving him behind. With that ability to make direct requests, I think that young man will do very well in business.
Hi. I’m Meryl Runion Rose. It pains me when good hearted and wise people are unable to speak the truth – unable to influence a situation. I’m talking about myself here sometimes too. When I know my input is just what a situation needs, it’s important to be able to give it.
I earned an MSCI, and a CSP. I identify more with my perspective as a Communication Alchemist. I know the power of words. Do you? I created The SpeakStrong Method so the power of our words can work for us, not against us. I write and speak about dynamic, authentic, effective communication skills. You can’t be an effective communicator without practicing communication alchemy.
I go brain-dead whencommunication doesn’t ring true – mine or anyone else’s. I use that response as a signal to practice Communication Alchemy – to go deep instead of cheap and find words to bring the conversation back to life.
My readers know me mainly by my “Perfect Phrases” and my “PowerPhrases“, but there is a lot more to my SpeakStrong Method than that: as any good alchemist would know.
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Out of the Darkness
If I could find my voice, anyone can. (Not that I’ve arrived – it’s a process.) I’ve come such a long way… from not knowing how to ask for the time of day to being able to navigate difficult conversations so skillfully everyone forgets they’re difficult. Not that I bat 1000. But I marvel at how simple so many formerly tough conversations have become.
I graduated from Vanderbilt University with a degree in Political Science and received a Masters in the Science of Creative Intelligence from MERU European Research University. I’m certified in Lean Office and practice what I’ve learned in my own business. I started working in government and quickly gravitated toward acquiring and teaching personal development skills. My commitment to powerful communication was galvanized in 1986 when I was unable to penetrate my late husband’s denial when he developed cancer.
Now I’m a “recovered passive.” I became “a woman on a mission” to learn to say things gracefully with impact (that’s an example of alchemy). I developed The Speak Strong Method to empower people to “say what they mean, mean what they say, without being mean when they say it.“
Alchemy is: a power or process of transforming something common into something special. The specialness comes from synergy. Communication Alchemy finds dynamic synergy in otherwise ordinary communication, kind of like how a great cook can make magic happen in the kitchen with a few ordinary ingredients.
I live in Cascade, Colorado, where I write, dance with abandon, hike, and help people say things. I LOVE capturing the essence of a message in the perfect phrase.
I’d like to help you and your organization SpeakStrong.
Here’s a video to tell you more about what I do.
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This video gives you a taste of my message. It was at the closing session of the Emergency Nurses’ Association.
Hello Everyone! Cassia here,
Darla replied, “Friday would be great. What time?”